You Got Her Number, Now What?

You did it, you finally scored a number from that attractive girl you had been working on for 15 minutes at the bar.  You’re feeling accomplished and hopeful for all the possibilities in the future.  Stop right there!  At this point you really need to avoid thinking even past the first date.  That will make you way to vulnerable in all the wrong ways.  The first thing you need to do is work on your mindset before you even think of making contact with this chick.  At this point you need to have that laid back “who cares” kind of attitude.  If she answers back, cool.  If not, who cares.  And you really shouldn’t care!  There are more fish out there, so don’t put that pole away just yet.

Unfortunately, getting a girl’s number is really not that big of a deal.  You probably did a good job, but don’t pat yourself on the back too hard.  A lot of times girls just give their numbers out so that the guy will go away and leave her alone.  I’m not saying that to discourage you, so don’t take it that way.  Don’t even think that is the situation in your case.  I’m merely pointing the fact out so that you don’t blow this thing out of proportion in your mind.

Believe me, we all do it!  We all are occasionally in a position where we just let our hopes for a future relationship get way too high.  I’ve done it many times.  The problem happens when the relationship never progresses further than the phone number and you feel discouraged because you built your hopes up.

Okay, so now that you have the right “carefree” mindset, what’s next?  What is your next move after getting the girl’s number?  Your steps after you get a girl’s number can make or break what happens in the future with her.

Guy calling girl

I can give you a great example.  One time Nicholas and I had approached a group of girls.  Nicholas tried talking to this particular girl in the group, and she had completely blown him off with her attitude.  It wasn’t that Nicholas couldn’t handle her, he just wasn’t her type.  That night I was on point.  I casually walked over and struck up a conversation.  I had her laughing and dancing with my fun flirting.  I always pitch myself as the life of the party.  She was into it.  It just so happened that she worked really close to where I work, so I told her that we should meet for coffee.  She was totally down!  We exchanged numbers and I excused myself.  Nicholas even heard her tell her friends how funny and attractive she thought I was, even bragging that she was going to meet me for coffee!

Would you be surprised if I told you that nothing came out of it?  Well, it’s true.  I had worked it effortlessly that night, but what I did after I got the number totally ruined it all.  What I did to mess it up is irrelevant because it’s very situation specific, and I doubt you would get in the same situation.  I need to stress the point; what you do after you get the number will make or break your chances.

Here’s the deal, you have one of two options:

  1. Call her
  2. Text her

Whatever option you pick, you need to follow one general rule: never contact the girl the day after you get the number.  You should always leave one day as a buffer.  If you meet the girl Friday night, don’t contact her until Sunday.  I would personally suggest texting because most people do that nowadays.  In fact, a lot of women don’t really like talking on the phone too much.

When you do initiate the first texting conversation, try to just talk to them.  Ask them what they did over the weekend.  Say a few things to make her laugh.  Try to get to know her better in that first conversation.  You should be using inside jokes from the night you met her.  If you did things well with her the night you met, the conversation should go well.  When you sense the conversation going well and the time is right, try to set up a date with her.  This date should be no more than a general date for coffee or drinks.  Say something like, “we should meet up for coffee sometime this week.”

Don’t set the date for the next day either, try to make it for a few days later.  Remember you need to seem like you have a life, even if you don’t.  Also, don’t just text her and say “let’s go for coffee” right away.  You need to lead up to that.  Show interest in getting to know her more.  Don’t be so desperate for a date.  If you play your cards right, you should land that illusive date with her.  Go get em!


Pierre VonAyre