Systems Can Kill

March Madness is upon us folks!  I’m sure a lot of you out there will start getting into the action, and have already filled out your brackets.  I’ve passed in my Billion Dollar bracket for Warren Buffet…just waiting on that billion dollars now.  As you watch the games, think about something which I am going to make a point about.  Watch how natural the players look as they play the game they love.  They move around the court with grace, speed, and agility. 

They never look like they’re really ‘thinking’ hard about the next move or their next dunk.  As they dribble to the basket, they move quickly around their opponents to try to score.  The cat-like movements are a thing of beauty; beauty in motion if you will.  They don’t think so much, they just DO.  They have been training so long that they can just DO IT…no Nike reference intended.

Now, think about yourself in the field.  You are probably thinking about a lot of things before you actually initiate an approach.  Many thoughts are running through your mind, some of them good and some of them bad.  Let me warn you against thinking too much, gentlemen.  Your thoughts and feelings will betray you sometimes.

That isn’t to say that you should put a little thought into what you’re about to do, but it shouldn’t be so much where you feel like you’re FORCING it.  If you’re forcing it, you will most certainly fail.  It should be fluid, like a guy dribbling to the basket for a sweet dunk.  It should be natural.  Now, in order for it to become natural, it will take a lot of practice (again, just like the basketball player).  Sports stars have been practicing for YEARS!  Practice makes perfect

But what you really should try to avoid is being OVERLY systematic about what you’re doing.  Thinking too much about rules and steps can really hurt your game in the long run.  Of course we give you guidelines and all that, but REAL life isn’t so certain that it will always follow your rules.  If you stick by way too many rules, then something will come along which doesn’t fit into your rule and will throw you for a loop.

guy in box

What I mean is this; live in the moment and enjoy what you’re doing.  It should be fun to go out and converse with women, and is not something that needs stressing over.  There are enough stresses in life.  Women are not all the same, and life isn’t predictable.  You SHOULD practice all of the techniques and guidelines that we talk about, but you shouldn’t be so rigid that if something unexpected happens you start to panic.

Be like water; water can conform to any object that you put it into.  In the same way, you should be able to adapt to any situation that happens in the field.  When you walk up to a girl, you can’t think “okay if I say this, it will work and she will say this back.”  Odds are it won’t work out in the way you think it will.  Just go into it fearless, with an open mind, and a positive attitude.

What we offer are CONCEPTS not RULES.  Rules make you put yourself into a set pattern or box.  Concepts allow you to be more free because you can apply them to the situation that comes your way.


Pierre VonAyre aka “The Professor”