Real Conversations with Women, Nicholas vs. Beach Towel

So Nicholas has to go buy a beach towel. Don’t ask why. He just does. So he walks into your local Macy’s and has two options: 1) Nicholas can go around and actually look for a beach towel (who does that?) or 2) Nicholas can pick up a beautiful woman in the process. Nicholas chooses option 2.

Nicholas is walking down Macy’s and sees a beautiful brunette working in the make up section. Her name tag says “Samantha“.

Samantha the Beach Towel HottieNicholas: “Hi, random question. But do you know a thing or two about where I can find a beach towel?”

Samantha: “Umm haha, that is random. Let’s see…”

Nicholas: “Hey hey, no need to be rude about it!”

Samantha laughs. She says, “I think we actually use to carry them upstairs.”

Nicholas: “Well, I’m glad Macy’s has its priorities straight and doesn’t have beach towels in their make up section! So tell me, by the way nice eyes, do you think you still carry them here?”

Samantha: “Thanks :) , I think we ran out, it’s not the season for the beach, it’s Fall!”

Nicholas: “Oh really? I thought it was June 16, 1992. No but seriously, I’m going on a vacation soon and apparently they do not have beach towels down there or something. It’s like a major crisis, people have to use regular towels, oh the horror!”

Samantha laughs, “That’s pretty funny. You’re funny. Where are you going?”

Nicholas: “I’m going to South America for a little bit, you know I work too hard and need a vacation once in a while! But anyways back to the task at hand. Somebody’s got a short attention span! (Points to a random stranger who is not looking over, “Hey, I promise she is a wonderful person even though her attention span is as short as the supply of beach towels during Fall!”)

Samantha laughing hard.

Nicholas: “Enough about you! Back to the beach towel! Do you think I can fit it in a carry-on? My skills for finding a beach towel are as difficult and poor on the eye as spotting Waldo in a red and white striped t-shirt contest.”

Samantha can’t take it anymore, “Stop! You are so hilarious!”

Nicholas: “Enough about me! Back to the towel! Jeez, is there someone else who can help me in this store because Samantha is not being helpful!” (Looks to the side as if talking to someone else and whispers, “But she’s cute though!”)

Samantha looks at Nicholas with curious and attracted eyes. She cannot stop staring, Nicholas has certainly brightened her day.

Nicholas: “Samantha, my quest for a beach towel has just began, I would totally invite you on this fun adventure but you must meet the demands of the ladies who need to apply their make ups correctly! Maybe another time certainly! I am sure there will come a time when I need to find a silver pan used only for square shaped pancakes. Oh the wonders! I certainly spoil you!”

Samantha is laughing so hard, it’s not even funny; or is it ;)

Nicholas walks off…

Notes and Lessons:

1) Nicholas is always finding ways to talk to women, even if it is as simple as using a beach towel for conversation.

2) Nicholas is so comfortable with his jokes that he says them in multiples and in a row. The woman is laughing so hard she can barely put up a defensive shield to prevent his advances. What advances? He is using humor without even asking for her number. He is looking for a beach towel!

3) Why doesn’t Nicholas ask for her number? Why should he? He knows where she works so the next time in a few weeks when he re-visits the same store, he can easily grab her number. She will always think of him as the funny guy who brightened her day during her boring work day. And she will wonder why he didn’t get her number, so she will be thinking of him when he is gone.

4) Notice the two times he complimented her in his story of searching for a beach towel? But she was so busy laughing, the compliments went to her subliminally and made her more receptive to him, so that he could pick her up much easier. Nicholas said, “You have nice eyes” and “She is cute.” Did you catch those? They were perfectly placed into the conversation.