Online Dating Part 4: Searching Profiles and Messaging Girls

So far we have gone through the basics of creating your profile, picking the right pictures, etc.  Obviously, then you need to start your search.  Searching out the right girl is fairly easy, but actually picking the right ones to message is a little trickier.  Also, even more tricky is crafting the right message.  I can’t say with certainty that there is a DEFINITE message that will get every girl to answer you back right away, but you can get better results when you say the right things (just as if you were in the field).

As far as searching out the right girls, that’s only half the battle.  The good thing about online dating is that you can get an idea about how a girl is like even before you message her based on her profile and pictures.  You really want to use the search filters to your advantage in order to get a little more specific about what you want.  What you really need to do is figure out what you want in a woman and start searching for her.

Don’t be afraid to search “a little” outside your comfort zone, because you never know!  There may be a really cool girl out there who you would never expect!  That being said, don’t message a rocker/partier chick when you are more of a conservative guy.  It will never work out, and you’ll just be wasting your time.  Even wasting the time of getting your hopes up is dumb enough.


Speaking of, something that you should try not to do is get your hopes up.  You will DEFINITELY find very attractive girls that you WISH and HOPE will message you back.  95% of the time, the girl you WISH messages you back doesn’t.  So just send out the message and move on without even thinking about it again.  Don’t over-think messages to girls online, even if you are 4 messages deep it could all end there.  Don’t take anything online seriously until you actually meet up.  No doubt, you will be messaging a few girls online that you think are really cool, but will ultimately turn out to be nothing like you thought in the beginning.

Lastly, you need to craft the right message to catch girl’s attention.  This is VERY situation specific, because you need to actually read through a girl’s profile and think up something.  Don’t send them something dumb like “hi” or some lame ass joke that EVERY guy says.  Girls get messaged 20-100 times every day by guys saying dumb things.  How do I know?  I made a fake girl profile to see what guys actually say.  You would be surprised at how many guys say the SAME EXACT thing.  Try it out for yourself sometime if you’re really curious to see.

Therefore, be different with your messages.  Read her profile and make a funny/witty comment about something that she has in there.  Be unique about it and think it through.  It shouldn’t be a long message though or else it looks like you’re trying too hard.  It also shouldn’t be a canned message because girls can sense that (for some weird reason).  You need to say something funny then ask her an open-ended question about something that makes her want to say something more than just “yes or no.”


Pierre VonAyre aka “The Professor”