Living in a Townie Paradise

Last night I had a revelation as we quickly exited a bar that we had just gone into three minutes earlier.  No one that we were with seemed to understand fully why other than Nicholas and myself.  The place smelled of cheap beer and cigarettes.  The bouncer was a scruffy fat dude who probably could have chased you about 10 feet before finally giving up and returning back to his corner.  The bar alley way was narrow and packed with about 20 guys.  Ladies and gentlemen, the townie bar.

We have all probably been to one at some point in our lives.  Unfortunately, I’ve probably been forced into one more than anyone should be.  I’ve gotten to the point where I can recognize one the second I walk in, and quickly walk out.  Any guy who is trying to talk to women successfully needs to know what a townie bar is in order to avoid them.  The whole atmosphere in and of itself is a giant cockblock.  There can even sometimes be attractive women there, but trust me you have no chance with any of them.

The scene I described above is pretty much the scene you can expect from the majority of townie bars.  However, there are a few distinct traits that are common to all townie bars.  First, the atmosphere is usually dingy.  It’s usually dark, but not in the same way that a club is dark.  It’s that dark atmosphere comparable to a jail cell.  The girl to guy ratio is another dead giveaway.  What I’m talking about is an almost total sausage fest.  If you’re actually trying to hang out in this arena, then you really have no business on this site.

townie bar

The biggest downfall of a townie bar is that most guys there are in some way, shape, or form trying to get into a fight.  Fights are the biggest cockblock a guy can encounter.  Girls are totally turned off by fights and by guys who like to fight.  This is proven by the fact that every guy in that bar is there with other guys, and no girls even go close to the place.  Townie bars are totally lacking any class or security.  If you get to a bar and girls are falling over drunk; it’s a townie bar.  If you get to a bar and every other guy is grilling you; it’s a townie bar.  What I’m trying to get at here is that you should be avoiding these places like the plague.  You need to up your class level if you’re trying to get anywhere.  Townie bars are for old men.


Pierre VonAyre